What Did I Do Wrong?, What is Wrong with Me? and other things we ask ourselves.

When things don’t go as expected do you ever ask yourself, ” What did I do wrong?”  or”What is wrong with me?”

I DO!

I have been in the job search for over 8 months now. I have read dozens of articles on how to improve your resume, cover letter, thank you letter, etc. I have done the same with how to interview on the phone, in person, in front of groups, etc…. I belong to many groups on LinkedIn in both my field and job search groups. I have asked many questions many times and took a book full of notes. I have done my best to put into practice everything I have learned. Along the way I have found out that much of the advice is contradictory or at the very least does not apply to my situation. So I try to customize everything and go with what seems to work the best for me.

I work with several recruiters from many of the staffing firms and some independent ones. Along the way I have had some good interviews but nothing to write home about (or even blog about). But last month something happened to me that I just have to share and get off my chest. I was contacted by a recruiter for a position that I didn’t see posted during my daily searches. That’s okay because I know that they have access to jobs that aren’t posted which is a good thing for us job seekers. When he sent me the job description to review, I thought I wasn’t really qualified for it but I figured maybe he saw something that I didn’t so I told him to go ahead and submit me for it.

Well  the next day he called and said they wanted a phone interview. Cool! Now it was with a huge multi-national corporation which shall remain nameless here except to say that they got their start in upstate New York and still have a huge presence here. I had the interview which took about 25 minutes and I thought it went well. When I got a call back from the recruiter 2 hours later, he wanted a little more information. Then later that afternoon he called again and said they wanted me. Cool again! They want to have me come in for an interview.

NO!   They want to hire me and start ASAP! With just a phone interview? Are you serious?

Well after the shock wore off I started all the paperwork, forms, checks and tests that are needed to start job nowadays. All this took a little more than a week which was no big deal. I had a  contracting job making more money per hour than ever and a good chance to go permanent after 12 months. My money worries were soon to be over.

OR SO I THOUGHT!

Well it started okay but went down hill very quickly. It was a supervisor’s position managing craft employees. There was a lot to learn and I thought all was going well. After a 1 1/2 weeks I was called out of a meeting and told I was being terminated but no reason why. He said he couldn’t discuss it due to liability reasons and told me to call my contracting company. After making the call I still did not know why I was being fired. A few minutes after that I was escorted off the property and started the long ride home.

What do I tell my wife? I had let everyone know that I was finally working and now….. Shock, anger, frustration, disbelief and lots of other things bounced around my head on the 53 miles drive back. My wife wasn’t home so I went to speak with my pastor who helped be a lot just by letting me vent. It was a busy day for him (Good Friday) so i then went home and had a very difficult talk with my wife.

Well ever since then many things have been going through my mind. I was trying to do the right thing and it backfired big time. Did I do or say something wrong? Nope. No one said it was me, my skill set or my behavior. Maybe I just didn’t fit in. Whatever the reason , the result is I am still out of work and the federal government just took 10.7% away from my benefits because they can’t come to a budget deal.

So what is wrong with me? Why won’t anyone see what I have to offer and give me a real chance. I have to think that there is nothing wrong with me. The right opportunity just hasn’t come along yet. I hope it does soon because although God has given me lots of patience in my life it is the money that I am running low on very quickly. In the mean time I will keep doing what I believe is the best way to find that elusive job.

Thanks for listening and………….

Have an great day!

Staying Positive and Dealing with Stress during your Job Search

I have seen this topic on several online discussion groups I belong to so I thought I would take a few minutes and add my two cents.

Staying positive during any stressful time in life is difficult. There are so many stressful aspects of being out of work. Not having enough money is probably at the top of the list. Many people live paycheck to paycheck so when the paychecks stop, there are a lot of expenses that just go unpaid. There is just so much you can do to cut back. Living a spartan lifestyle while working and then losing that job is something that is hard to deal with. Unemployment benefits are usually only 1/2 of a worker’s regular income up to a maximum that differs state by state. One problem with collecting those benefits is that if you pick up anything on the side it has to be reported. This negates the added income so it ends up being a waste of time. This discourages people from even looking for anything unless the pay makes it truly worthwhile.

Another thing stressful about being out of work is the strain it puts on family members. The do without the smallest of extras that are usually no big deal. I know my wife tries to all she can to make up the difference so she works extra hours at her 2nd job.  It bothers me that she has to work this hard and I feel like I am contributing nothing.

This leads to my last area and probably the hardest to deal with. Many people, especially men have a much lower self-worth when they are out of work. If you define yourself by the work that you do then this is especially problematic. I know myself that I am prone to a pity party of one if I am not careful.

So what do you do about it? Well I read about the usual stuff and sometimes feel that little of it applies to me. So I have learned to find what works for me and then develop the discipline to do it regularly.

Make time to do what you enjoy everyday. Regardless what people say, there isn’t enough things to do during a job search that it takes up all your day. Once you get organized the job search takes from 1-5 hours daily. So take some time to go for a walk. I live out in the country with woods in back of my house. A walk up the trail is fresh air, good exercise, peaceful and very relaxing. It clears my head, helps me to think and I can enjoy the beauty of nature regardless of the season. Doesn’t get any better than that.

Listening to music or watching a good movie is  priceless. My favorites are classic rock, older country with some jazzy soul for good measure. My movies are comedies and action films. Can anyone be sad, mad or bad when they are laughing?

I have found that it is a bad thing to isolate yourself when unemployed. Seek out friends and family and do the things that you normally would. Life doesn’t have to change just because you lost your job.

Listen to or watch positive, inspiring and motivational people. Some of my favorites are Zig Ziglar, Les Brown and Dr. Norman Vincent Peale. Their time-honored wisdom and enthusiasm really is catchy. Remember what Zig said,
“People often say motivation doesn’t last. Neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”

Helping people. It takes your mind off you and your troubles when you do something for others. A wise man once said,” Service to others is the rent we pay for taking up space here on earth. Let us NEVER fall behind on our rent”.

These are just a few suggestions. Find what works for you and stick with it. Being unemployed  is just temporary.  Don’t let it define you. Let how you handle it define you.

Have a great day

What am I Thankful For? How about you?

I am glad it will be Thanksgiving in just a few days. Things have been rough lately and I need a reminder that there is much that I should be thankful for. It isn’t easy for someone to stay in a positive, optimistic mood when things don’t go their way. Chronic pain, family members in failing health, job loss, teenagers and so much more, pile on the stress and make it difficult to be thankful what you do have.

How about you? Do you feel that way sometimes too? Does it happen too often for your own good? Well maybe a ‘I’m thankful for’ list from yours truly will help get you going in the right direction.

I’m thankful for family. That seems to be an easy one but still important. I’m thankful for my wife who works too many hours at both jobs to help make ends meet. She always seems to be there for me no matter what.

My children,  all who have either graduated from, currently attending or will go to college. In our house it wasn’t ”Are you going to college?” but ” Which college are you going to?” Very grateful that they are successful, well-adjusted and healthy for the most part. That’s all a parent could ask for.

I am thankful for my faith. Many times it isn’t as strong as it should be but that is my fault. But I have had so many ‘near misses’ in my life that you could never convince me that there is no supreme being watching over me. It is great to know that there is always someone who listens and will help me when I need it, although many times it seems like there is a big difference between what I think I need and what I really need.

I am thankful for the lessons that I have learned in life. Most of them have been the hard way. The  more I think about it, the more I realize that is the best way. Hard lessons learned are not soon forgotten. Also the ability to laugh and make others laugh. After all, you can’t be mad, sad, or bad if you are laughing now can you?

My parents taught me a lot that I am thankful for.  My dad, who passed away 4 years ago next week, taught me a love of outdoors in hunting and fishing which I have passed on to my sons. He also had 2 rules, Don’t lie to me! and Don’t steal! I have also passed them onto my sons. I know that if you wake up my youngest, who is 17, out of a sound sleep and ask him right away what is the worst thing he could do and his answer would be,” Lie to my dad”. Darn good kid!

I am also thankful for the opportunities I have been given. I have worked with many fine people over my life and had several distinct careers. Not too many people can say they worked as nurses, teachers and technicians among other positions. I wouldn’t have given up that variety in my career for all the stability in the world. The experiences have been priceless.

I am also thankful for the bad things. Why? Well some people can’t feel the pain that I complain about. Some people don’t have families that love them even with all they annoyances that come with them. Some people don’t have the education and skills to keep looking for and obtaining employment.  And others are out of work for so long that they give up.

Yes there is so much to be thankful for this holiday season. Just being able to write this blog and share it with others is such a good thing. All my opportunities to help others in whatever way I can is so precious to me. Hopefully reading this will cause a few of you to reflect and remember what you are thankful for.

Happy Thanksgiving to all …………..and

Have a great day!

Veteran’s Day; Not Just a Memorial but a Call to Action!

On November 11, 1918, the war to end all wars ended. But sadly WW I did not end all wars, if anything it thrust the United States onto the world stage. Since then we have had several wars both declared and undeclared.

Veteran’s Day has been celebrated for the last 94 years. For the last generation or so the ‘official’ holiday has been the 2nd monday in november. This gives many people and most school children a  3 day weekend. Several holidays are changed to the same thing. Also for the last several years each of these holidays have been for known by special sales for most merchants. Now many businesses need all the help they can get but I feel that the true meaning of these holidays are missed by many people.

Returning vets from WW II were welcomed home and celebrated. They were looked at as heroes and they started the baby boomer generation of which I am part of. Since then the returning vets have had mixed reaction depending on the conflict they served in. As a school child during the Vietnam War, I remember little except for the weekly death toll in the local paper and the current events time in social studies. My cousin served in the Marines over there but when he came back he wasn’t the same person, never received the help that he needed and ended up living a hard but relatively short life.

So my question to everyone is;

Are we doing all we should to help our veterans and their families? The answer is a resounding, NO! The VA centers are overworked and poorly funded and under staffed. Many are not receiving the medical, psychological and emotional care and counselling that they need. Returning vets have an unemployment rate of over 25% in some areas. But what can be done about it?

Well today’s government leaders seem to be short on putting their money where their mouth is. Back in the day, most leaders were veterans themselves. From Herbert Hoover to George H.W. Bush all presidents served in some capacity, most in WWI or WWII. Since then, none have. How can you command a military you have never been a part of?

We still have millions of veterans from WWII to the first Gulf War. Do we think about them other than on Veteran’s Day? If you are a veteran from 1942-1991, God bless you.  Your countless contributions to our society has helped made this country and its people great. May you get the help and support that you and your family needs. If you know a vet, give them a call whether it is just to chat or to help them out in some way.

Our latest veterans have fared better on some fronts and worse on others as compared to previous generations. If you are one of those, again may God Bless you. Please ask for help if you need it whether it be benefits, care or a job that you are entitled to or just someone to talk to. Keep squawking until people listen. If you are a family member of a current service member please know that you are not alone. It is of course true that family members do not have the same trial and risks as the service members but the suffer nevertheless.  Spouses raise their families alone usually on less money. House and car repairs and other troubles come up, they are on their own. Children wonder how long will it take for daddy or mommy to come home. And mom and dad constantly worry that their son or daughter will not return all and if they do come back, what kinds of terrible hurts will they have on the inside and out that may never heal?

Thanking a vet for their service is great but much more is needed. Whether it be financial, educational, emotional or any other way, our veterans and their families need and deserve our help. Shouldn’t we do all we can to make sure they get it?

If we do, then all of us will surely…….

HAVE A GREAT DAY!

 

How to Save Money by Pinching that Penny Even Harder.

Lately I have been trying to save even more money and make what I buy last longer. So when I see articles saying,”How to Save 50$ each Week!” or ” 10 Things you are paying too much for”, and many others, well I click on it and read away. Very quickly I am disappointed and feel I have wasted my time AGAIN!

Why do I say that? Well when some of the tips are to stop putting 10$ a day in to the vending machine at work or stop buying that 5$ coffee on the way to work, the first thing I think is that ,”Gee, I didn’t spend that much when I had a job. Show me how to save money over and above what I have been doing right along”. So to help out my fellow penny pinchers I have compiled a partial list of what I have doing to make it through the tough times. More will be coming in a later post. I apologize if you are already doing these and more. Feel free to share your tips also.

Food - In most cases store brands are cheaper than name brands and usually the quality is just as good. Buying larger boxes/cans is a good idea but ONLY if you will use them before the food goes bad. You aren’t saving money if you throw food or anything else for that matter away. When buying large packages of perishables, break them up into smaller packs and freeze what you can. Always use coupons and look for sales and never be afraid to buy day old baked goods. Usually these are 1/2 price or less and if you use them soon there is no real difference in taste. If you have leftovers, by all means USE THEM! The other day I was creative and used leftover ground meat, veggies and cheese on a pizza and my family loved it. Leftovers can save a lot of money. I also make my own peanut butter. It is cheaper, healthier and an activity I can do with my family just like all the other food we make from scratch. the added benefit is that quality time with your spouse and/or children. Hey, you can’t put a price tag on that!

Household items - Okay now I am showing my miser side. When the bath soap bar gets small, I get another one out for my wife and I use the last one until it literally dissolves in my hand. This takes about a week. I calculated that I save a 4-5 bars a year doing this. I always soak pans and dishes with water I am already running in the sink. This saves both dish soap and electricity with the water pump. (yes we live out in the boonies). I also make sure that the washer and dryer is full and I use the clothes rack to dry things the rest of the way. I vent the dryer duct into the house to help heat this time of year. This saves money and stops the air from drying out as much from the furnace. Also turn the heat down a few degrees and wear long sleeves or better yet cuddle up. How can you beat that! I also unplug my laptop for a few hours at a time and let the batteries run it. It cycles the batteries and saves power that you pay for every month.

Gas - I do all the standard things like limiting idling time, accelerating and braking evenly. I also take my foot off the gas and coast to the next red light or stop sign. This not only saves gas but the brakes last longer.(It was 85000 miles before I needed a brake job). I still get where I am going in plenty of time because I leave a few minutes earlier and enjoy the ride at a few miles under the speed limit. This saves gas, lowers stress and removes the possibility of a ticket from the men in blue.

Folks these are just a few way to pinch that penny till it screams. Does it take some discipline? Sure, is it easy? Not at first. Will you save money and lower your blood pressure? Yup!. And speaking of blood pressure, if you stop looking for a closer parking spot, you will save time, gas, and get yourself in better shape.

Just following these tip and some of yours that will come to you as you work at it will definitely save money and find out that there are many things you can do without.

Have a great day!

Transferrable Skills… From Deer Hunter to Job Hunter?

So much has been said and written about transferable skills lately that I thought I would add my unique view on the subject. I thought about this while sitting alone in the woods near my house.

Deer hunting season has opened in northern New York State. Early saturday morning many people braved the elements to test their skills and try their luck at bagging ‘the big one’. I got to thinking that hunting deer is very similar to searching for a job. Let me explain.

First of all you need the proper training and licensing.  A hunter safety course and time in the field with experienced hunters is needed along with a yearly license. In most jobs you need the proper training and experience. Also many careers require special licensing or certifications. In deer hunting you must be in the right area. If there are no deer there, how can you be successful? To put the odds in your favor, you need to hunt in the areas where there are the most deer. Isn’t that the same way with jobs? If an area or industry has no jobs, why waste valuable time. Next you need to dress appropriately. You need to stay warm and dry, but at the same time wear colors to be seen by other hunters for safety reasons. Looking for work you need to dress correctly, a suit for some, business casual for others and work boots and jeans if needed. Proper eyewear and footwear are necessary.

Then there is the tools. A map/compass if needed, the right weapon, a knife, rope and other tools are necessary for success. And of course you need to be able to use them properly. With job search there is your resume, cover letter, networking and interview skills are necessary tools to get the job. Knowing how to best use these tools helps ensure your success.

Then we come to success itself. A  heavy-bodied record buck with a massive rack is every hunter’s dream. Few hunters bag one of those bad boys. Most of us ‘settle’ for something less. A smaller buck or even a doe may not feel as great but both put meat on the table and a sense of success  inside us. The same thing for jobs. Do we always find out dream jobs? Not really. But if we get hired at a job we can do and pays enough to get by we are satisfied at least temporarily. We may continue to look for other opportunities because nothing these days is permanent. We also want to strive to do better to support our families and contribute to our communities.

So many of the same skills needed to become successful in hunting transfer to the employment world. As for me…. I still have several weeks left to get a deer to once again experience the fine taste of venison. But I will work very hard and smart to transfer my skills so that I can find the right job for me.

If you have skills in one area of life whether it be a hobby or a calling, once you learn to transfer those skills to another area of life you will…..

Have a GREAT day!

How Can I Make a Difference in The World?

With all the negative in the world, with all the bad news and poverty, with all the crime , unemployment and everything else we read, hear and see, how can we make a positive difference in the world?

You don’t have to have a multi billion dollar foundation like Bill Gates. You don’t even need any money at all(or just some pocket change). You don’t need hours upon hours each and every day. Just a few minutes or even seconds occasionally will work wonders.

How do I do that? you ask… Glad you asked!

There is a large group of people who are just about abandoned and in many times forgotten by their family and friends. These people worked there whole lives, paid taxes, raised families, voted, volunteered and so much else and now they are alone and deserted. Who am I talking about? The elderly that reside in nursing care centers across the country. During my nursing career, I worked or trained at 6 different nursing homes. At each place there were several residents that received few or no visitors at all. The only people they see are the ones that care for them 24/7/365. I remember one lady that had not gotten a visitor in over 10 years. She was fully cognizant and aware of that but had accepted it as a fact of life. So why not take an afternoon and visit a nursing home in your area and ask if there is anyone not receiving visitors and go say hi. Students… why not interview them for a history paper? Their stories are rich and full of life.

What else can you do? Encourage someone having a rough time of it. We all know people who are unemployed. Hey I’m one of them. Smile and listen if they want to talk. Invite them to dinner if you think it would help.

Ladies if you really want to make a difference in your unemployed man’s life, praise his efforts, encourage his actions and compliment him regularly. He gets down about not being able to support his family and is going without just so that they can have what little he has. Looking for work is extremely hard on us and the support from loved ones in priceless.

How else can you make a difference? Smile at a stranger, find something to compliment some on but make in genuine. I once saw an older man at the post office (who looked down and out) come alive when I complimented him on a full head of thick hair that I wished I had.He smiled, raised his head, straightened his shoulders, ran his fingers through his hair, laughed as he said as he walked away,” Sonny, some of us have it, and some don’t. I’m sure you have something to be proud of! “. Did I make his day? I’m sure I did.

There are so many ways you can make a difference in the world. Pray for people you know and even ones you don’t. Volunteer at a soup kitchen, church, school or a multitude of other places. The possibilities are endless.

And you know what? The biggest difference we make sometimes is right inside ourselves. How can you be mad, sad, or bad when you laughing and helping someone else.

Try some of these and you truly will….

HAVE A GREAT DAY!